My daughter is 7 now, and those blurry early holidays seem almost rose-tinted in hindsight. These days, she writes her own wish lists, handles late nights better than I do, and even helps with food prep or entertaining younger visitors.
But a few days ago, a friend with a newborn asked me, “How will I do it? How will I survive this holiday season?” That got me thinking about that first year’s festivities—a time that can feel magical but, when you’re navigating it for the first time as a parent, can also be a seemingly endless source of stress.
As an expat, my first holiday season as a parent coincided with my first trip home to the UK. Navigating a 13-hour red-eye flight from the West Coast was truly a trial by fire for both my nerves and my organizational skills. Between juggling family expectations (many of whom were meeting my then 8-month-old for the first time), keeping her healthy amidst plane germs (ahhh!), and enduring an extended holiday dinner with a jet-lagged baby who was more than just “done,” it was a lot.
But I survived, my friends. In fact, I have so many wonderful memories from that season. I remember how she tossed away the gifts and played with the wrapping paper instead, how much we loved blackout blinds, and, most of all, how we did it. She wore elf ears and was hugged tightly by her grandma.
So, here’s my guide to keeping your cool, creating memories, and setting yourself up for a (mostly) joyful holiday season.
Tame the Holiday Stress by Sharing the Load
The holidays often mean a lot of prep work—gift shopping, cooking, decorating, and endless lists. As a new parent, you’re already stretched thin, so it’s essential to divide and conquer. I as a former fashion editor, can get quite specific on how I like it all to be, but parenthood taught me that sometimes the only way to survive is to delegate and does it really matter how well the gift is wrapped, not when sharing the chore allows you to not fall asleep in your dessert the next day. Top tips:
- Communicate early: Sit down with your partner, parents, siblings (whatever your support network looks like) to map out who’s doing what. From wrapping presents to wrangling the toddler at events, clarity is everything.
- Outsource if you can: Not every task needs to be on your plate. Ask guests to bring side dishes or lean on delivery services for errands. If you are hosting and have the means I also highly recommend treating yourself to a cleaning service a few days before, I promise it will lift a big load.
Set Boundaries and Stand Your Ground
I am unafraid to advocate, but I’m also a Brit so I generally do my best to steer clear of conflict. Family dynamics can get tricky, especially with well-meaning relatives who insist they "know best" when it comes to your baby, and there definitely is a bit of letting some of the chatter wash over you, however:
- Know your limits: Decide in advance what you’re okay with, whether it’s kissing the baby, screen time, or someone insisting they can “handle” bedtime (when you know they can’t).
- Practice your responses: Try, “Thanks for your input, but we’re doing what feels best for us,” to keep things firm but polite.
Embrace New Traditions That Work for Your Family
You’re creating memories not just for your child but for yourself, too. Think about what feels meaningful to you. We spent our second holiday season in Miami with my husband's family, and I know my mother especially found a tropical Christmas odd, but we also bonded with our families, got matching flamingo pajamas and made the sorts of memories, pool side, at new years that she’d never have imagined. Traditions are important, but remember they, can be new ones as your family evolves:
- Simplify celebrations: Maybe it’s watching a favorite movie in matching pajamas or baking cookies during nap time.
- Stay flexible: Some traditions may have to wait until your little one is older (no, they probably won’t remember visiting five houses in one day but that's ok maybe you can all jump on facetime).
4. Protect Your Newborn’s Immune System
The holidays bring together loved ones… and their germs. Newborns are especially vulnerable during flu and RSV season, so safety is key. And don’t forget yourself, especially if you are newly postpartum, your body is likely exhausted and depleted, I drink Needed’s Immune Support religiously throughout the winter for a little extra help, it’s breastfeeding safe too. My other tips are:
- Set hygiene rules: Make hand-washing a non-negotiable before holding the baby, you can ask for no kisses.
- Limit exposure: If an event feels overwhelming, skip it or keep visits short. As I mentioned before virtual check-ins are still a great way to connect with far-away families.
- Keep your toolkit handy: A baby-safe sanitizer and a cozy, covered stroller can be lifesavers for outings.
Navigate Food and Picky Eaters with Patience
Breastfeeding or bottles certainly have their challenges and make sure you set family expectations around what you need to feed your baby comfortably and at timing that suits you. For babies exploring solids to toddlers discovering sugar, food can be a minefield, but take a deep breath and:
- Prep ahead: Bring familiar snacks or meals for your little one to avoid surprises.
- Stay calm about indulgence: A single day of mashed potatoes and pie won’t undo your toddler’s usual eating habits. I think my daughter ate mostly bread for her first three thanksgivings.
- Set realistic goals: Feeding yourself might look like grabbing bites of cold turkey between diaper changes—and that’s okay, it’s also ok to ask someone else to hold the baby so you can eat your food hot.
Keep Toddler Mayhem in Check at Other People’s Houses
As they get bigger and more mobile there is a whole new fun set of adventures that arise. Visiting friends and family can absolutely be a test of your toddler’s patience—and yours. Take a deep breath and:
- Create a "yes" space: Bring toys or activities your toddler loves, and ask if there’s a safe spot for them to play freely.
- Prep them ahead of time: Let them know what to expect, like “We’ll eat first, then play.”
- Tag-team it: If you’re with a partner, trade off so one of you can enjoy a conversation while the other manages the chaos.
Protect the Sleep Schedule—But Stay Flexible
Sleep regressions love to show up at the holidays for both yourself and the baby. The key is balancing your baby’s sleep needs with the realities of celebrations.
- Prioritize naps: Even if it means taking a drive or using a travel crib in someone’s guest room, a rested baby is a happier baby. And help make everyone's days more peaceful.
- Have a backup plan: If bedtime gets pushed or they miss a nap, give yourself (and them) some grace. A little extra cuddling and a solid routine the next day can get things back on track.
- Remember you need sleep too: I know easier said than done, but try your best to practise healthy sleep routines for yourself too, even when my little one had finally nodded of my own to-do list was often racing, magnesium included in something like Needed’s Sleep Support really helped me naturally unwind.
Plan Holiday Travel Like a Pro
Traveling with a baby or toddler requires strategy, but with some preparation, you can make it through with your sanity intact:
Time it right: If possible, schedule flights or road trips around your baby’s nap schedule. Early morning or post-bedtime travel can help them sleep through much of the journey.
- Pack strategically: Think beyond diapers and snacks. Include comfort items (like a favorite blanket), distractions (small toys or books), and backups for everything—outfits, pacifiers, and even snacks.
- Don’t overbook: If you’re visiting multiple family members, build in downtime to rest and reset.
- Manage expectations: Delays happen, meltdowns occur. Remind yourself that no trip is perfect, and that’s okay. Everyone on that plane was a baby once.
Finally, Give Yourself Permission to Opt Out
Sometimes, the best decision is to say “no” to an event or plan. Prioritize what feels right for your family - and let go of guilt. The holidays will come again, but your first as a parent only happens once and that’s ok. Your first holiday season as a parent is all about striking the right balance between creating memories and keeping your sanity. Let go of perfection, lean on your support system, and focus on what truly matters: enjoying this special season with your little one.
You’ve got this!
